


i'm verbose enough for the both of us

by shittycarmodsdaily



Category: SCP Foundation
Genre: Autism Spectrum, Communication, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, autistic gearsberg indulgence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:27:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26274076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shittycarmodsdaily/pseuds/shittycarmodsdaily
Summary: gears isn't talking to iceberg. iceberg worries about that.
Relationships: Dr. Gears/Dr. Iceberg (SCP Foundation)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 80





	i'm verbose enough for the both of us

**Author's Note:**

> anon who wanted gearsberg that wasnt pure angst this one's for you (although it's so ridiculously self indulgent i don't know if we can call it for you alone)

Gears wasn’t talking to him. They were nine months into an official relationship, Iceberg had practically moved into Gears’s apartment, and Gears  _ wasn’t talking to him. _

__ It had taken a downright embarrassing amount of time to figure out, because Iceberg was… rambly, he’d admit, and Gears was quiet by nature, so he was used to doing most of the talking between them. It was comfortable, until he had realized while watching Gears have a conversation with some researcher that Gears had almost stopped talking to Iceberg completely.

There was some speech. Yes’s and no’s to Iceberg’s questions. Little hums of affirmation, noises of contentment, even sometimes the satisfied exhale that Iceberg had learned to read as laughter. But he didn’t give much more than short sentences at a time, and rarely if ever initiated conversations himself. Why was he doing this? Was this some emotional cue Iceberg was failing to read? Was Iceberg not worth conversation?

“Have you tried asking him why he’s doing this?” Gerald asked from across the table the two of them were eating lunch at. “I feel like that’s kind of the obvious answer to this one.”

Iceberg considered the question, realized he had no good answer, and started scrolling through his text history with Gears instead; it was at least comforting to see  _ I love you, too  _ written out semi-permanently.

“...What are you looking at?” Gerald asked, sounding more than a little frustrated at Iceberg ignoring him.

  
“Uh, texts,” Iceberg said. “With Gears.”

“You two text?”

“I mean, sometimes we’re not in the same place, so—“

“That’s— not what I’m asking,” Gerald said. “I mean, you two text  _ as well as  _ talk at work?”

“I mean. First of all, that’s not a substitute for talking at home. Second of all, I mean, you know how he texts. It’s not exactly substantial.”

Gerald raised an eyebrow. Iceberg reminded himself that Gerald was a friend who was helping him out and that it was rude to destroy the belongings of someone who was technically doing him a favor, no matter how annoying their facial expressions.

“I don’t know how he texts,” Gerald said. “Our departments aren’t close enough for us to talk that much.”  _ Ah. _

“Well, uh,” Iceberg said, fumbling to scroll away from the more personal texts and hand Gerald the phone, “you can— just read this, okay?”

Gerald took Iceberg’s phone and studied it for a long moment before handing it back.

“Iceberg?” he asked, making eye contact.

“Yeah?”

“He reacts to every single one of your texts with the heart emoji. Please just talk to him.”

* * *

It wasn’t that Iceberg _ needed _ Gears to talk, really. They understood each other well enough to communicate fine without it, and truth be told, Iceberg had found the silence comfortable before he had started wondering why it was happening. But being quiet was a significant change in Gears’s behavior, and Gears didn’t change his behavior unless there was a reason. In this case, a reason Iceberg couldn’t figure out, and therefore a problem. A problem which, yes, he could probably resolve by asking Gears about, but that led to a second problem: the possibility that it was because something was wrong.

Iceberg was happy with Gears. Truly, honestly, he was happy. Silence or speech, he loved Gears and loved being with him. And the idea that Gears maybe wasn’t happy with him was scary, because he didn’t want to lose him. 

He looked at Gears, who was currently focused on his computer, through the corner of his eye, and wondered with an ache in his chest if he could stand to go back to how they had been at the beginning of their working together, all stilted and awkward. If he would end up having to transfer. 

Gears turned to face him, tilting his head:  _ Is something wrong?  _ Iceberg started and shook his head.

“It’s nothing. Sorry,” he said, angling himself back towards his laptop. Gears seemed satisfied by this answer, and hummed in response, going back to his work as well. The silence resumed, broken only by the buzz of the space heater in the corner. It would almost be peaceful if Iceberg wasn’t being consumed by his own thoughts.

* * *

He needed to ask. He needed to just rip the bandaid off. But laying in bed together and watching Gears scroll through his phone, Iceberg didn’t know if this was a question he could bring himself to answer.

“Julian?” Gears asked, so softly that it almost seemed he hadn’t at all.

“Mm?” Iceberg responded.

“Are you… happy with me?”

Iceberg was suddenly painfully aware of his surroundings— Gears’s arm around his shoulder, the blankets covering the two of them, the feeling of Gears breathing against him— and equally aware of how afraid he was to lose this. 

“Why do you ask?” he said haltingly. Gears paused for a long moment before responding.

“You’ve been acting unusual for the past few days,” Gears said. “Upset, I think.” Gears’s hand on his shoulder twitched, as if he wanted to do something but wasn’t. 

“I, uh,” Iceberg said. “I don’t… it’s nothing.” Gears made a noise— frustrated?— and drummed his free hand’s fingers on the blanket.

“Julian. I won’t understand this on my own,” Gears said quietly. “Please.”

Iceberg tried to relax.  _ He’s asking how you feel. That’s a good sign. _

“I… you don’t talk to me,” Iceberg said, maybe a little more forcefully than he intended.

“We’re talking right now.”

  
“I mean, yeah, we’re talking now, but this is the longest conversation we’ve had in— I don’t know,” Iceberg said. “And I— you wouldn’t just stop talking for no reason, that’s a big change, and there must be some reason for that, but I can’t tell what it is, and I’m going insane trying to figure it out, and I don’t… I don’t know.”

Iceberg took in a wobbly breath and looked away from Gears, who was silent for a long moment before pulling Iceberg closer and cupping his cheek with the hand that had been around his shoulder. Iceberg shivered at the sudden warmth and turned to face Gears, who had a look of intense concentration on his face. It was another moment before he spoke again.

“I don’t like talking,” Gears said. “It’s difficult for me in a way it doesn’t seem to be for others. I still have to communicate, of course, but on my own, I like being quiet.” He fell silent for a moment before continuing. “You understand me. You recognize my body language. I can be quiet with you, or just listen. I didn’t know it hurt your feelings.”

Iceberg blinked and rubbed his eyes, reminding himself that crying was a mess for him and he’d just end up with his eyelashes frozen together. 

“I can talk if it makes you feel better. I wouldn’t give up your happiness for my own comfort,” Gears said. Iceberg sniffled and covered Gears’s hand on his cheek with his own, lacing their fingers together.

“I don’t mind you not talking. I was… I was worried that something was wrong. You don’t change how you act unless there’s a reason,” he said. “I didn’t know if that reason was a bad one.”

Gears shook his head and carefully kissed Iceberg’s forehead. 

“Happy like this,” he murmured.

They laid there for a moment, breathing in each other’s proximity, until Iceberg broke the silence. 

“I love you.”

  
Gears hummed in response,  _ I love you too _ , and Iceberg understood.

**Author's Note:**

> gay people are real and they feel safe enough not to mask each other
> 
> find us at @clightdraki on tumblr where we post more thinly-veiled spite at the mainsite's treatment of gears as a character


End file.
